{December 15, 2011}   Are you failing in your Relationship?

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

 Good evening readers? I said I would be attempt to keep up better with my blog post. Today’s topic centers around relationships. Yes relationships. Are you tired of hearing about relationships from me? I know I tweet a lot of relationships and love of the such but these are important topics. Are you waiting for my topics not the myths of HBCUs? I’ll get there. Don’t worry, it’s coming. But anyway, relationships. A lot of us are excuse my french but fucking them up, greatly. I mean love is something that is a divine gift from God, a blessing. Yet we mess up something so amazing and so wonderful. And what’s even worse is that God love unconditionally, at all times yet we fall short all the time.

I sound really cliche right now don’t I? But do you even know what relationship I’m talking about? No I’m not talking about loving God and I’m not going to even go there (mainly because i went there already in my first post) because that’s implied (hopefully). And no I’m talking about random people or family or significant others, because there’s a relationship that comes before all of these. Figure it out yet? No? Shame on you! But you just proved my point. The relationship that we are all fucking up at the most and over and over is with OURSELVES. WITH YOU, YOURSELF, AND YOU.

I went to mass on Sunday because while I was feeling more relieved, more healthy, and pulled together, I had this feeling I just needed to tie up lose ends. I needed to sit still for an hour and usually the only place and time I can truly do that is at mass. So I always looked forward to the Homily (for Protestant Counter-parts thats the equivalent to you alls sermons) because God always “scolds” me and yes “scolds” me clearest through the priest. He always seems to get the message from the spiritual parent across so well and precise. The theme for that mass was loving yourself and boy when I say God told me off, sheesh I’m getting double portions at dinner. Now I’m not going to sit up and here and attempt to go word for word what the priest said however I will break it down for you all thus why I post Corinthians (fooled ya’ll didn’t I).

Now when the priest said love yourself, he wasn’t say anything about throwing the middle finger to the world and saying every man for himself. But loving yourself in the sense where you take care of yourself like God takes care you. God put a lot of work into us. When he made the world, he look around and said to himself “this is good, real good” and when he made adam and eve he said the same thing! So God loves us unconditional and will make sure we are okay, will be there when we reach out and hold us when we need it. But WE have to love ourselves as well, unconditional and help ourselves. Let me tell you a story….

A few weeks ago, I was a mess. Tired all the time even after sleeping for 8 hours. I wasn’t eating on a regular bases and I had headaches every week. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what was wrong with me. Granted I continued to overwork myself (i admit this now) and neglect my basic needs. I fought hard going to the doctor. I would say I need to go as if trying to convince myself but never went. My friend was just as worried and would ask me every other day “are you going to the doctor”. I finally listened and went…to quite a few actually. And honestly that was God’s way in saying “sit still, I’m trying to tell you something.” He was basically saying “you haven’t been taking good care yourself.” Wasn’t doing a very good job with my relationship with myself and I felt in more ways then one.

God does not ask much of us but to be A DECENT PERSON. Let me repeat myself. God doesn’t ask much of us but to be a DECENT PERSON. And I say God only asks for that because my aunt and uncle and as well as my whole family has always said to me that all we want is for you to be a DECENT PERSON, and my family was a blessing from heaven and gift and I TRULY believe that they are messengers for God for me so God wants me to be a DECENT PERSON. He wants nothing but the best for us and will LOVE us regardless of who we are and any mistakes we make in life so why can’t we love ourselves in that same way? And how can we be a DECENT PERSON if we don’t LOVE ourselves unconditionally as God loves us? Let’s begin….


How can we begin to love ourselves if we are not patient with ourselves or kind to ourselves. If constantly beat down on ourselves or sulk in our flaws, how can we truly love ourselves unconditionally. Its not that we need to ignore our flaws or not push ourselves, not that’s important for progress but when we only see the bad and just not merely acknowledge it then we blind ourselves from seeing all the good in ourselves as well. We have to pat ourselves on the back when we do good and acknowledge that we are human and not perfect. When we envy others or become jealous of what others have, that’s only perpetuating the hate that lies inside that we have for our own selves. When we send hate mail to our ex’s fiancés out of bitterness for our own lives or talk about someone because we’re jealous of their blessings, its shows hate for self. You cannot love yourself if you are too busy worrying about what someone else has been blessed with and more than likely you are missing blessings that God has bestowed upon you.


Loving yourself is important which entails taking care yourself and being the best person you can be, but when we brag about ourselves this is not love, it is lack of love for ourselves and dependency on others recognition or jealousy. Arrogance and bragging go hand in hand in destroying the love we are suppose to have for ourselves. When people brag about oh lets say a ring they have or their marriage or relationship because they want to either show someone up or make some jealous but that’s not loving yourself and all you’re seeking is acceptance or some reaction of someone to make you more comfortable of your situation. All these also make one unbecomingly as well because of the self-hate that shows through the bragging and arrogance. So while patting yourself on the back is good, being humble is also important in self love.


A lot of times we as human beings dwell on wrongs done to us and take it out on the world. It not only shows we don’t love one another but it shows we don’t love ourselves either. When we continually hold grudges or dwell on past wrongs by people and then make others guilty of possibly doing the same wrong, then it shows a lack of trust and love for ourselves. It shows we don’t believe we are good enough therefore everyone is out to do some harm/wrong to us. If everyone is guilty before they are innocent, we ultimately are saying we don’t know our own self worth or trust ourselves. Which we undoubtably cause more harm to ourselves down the line, therefore showing we do not love ourselves as God loves us. In order to love ourselves we have to be happy and trust ourselves and not be so quick to destroy ourselves because of past wrongs. You basically are letting the devil and evil when in destroying you verses taking God’s strength and building yourself back up.


When you love yourself you believe in yourself, keep faith in yourself, and endures all the good and bad with the strength of God beside you. If God has unfailing faith, hope, and bears our pains with us then in order to love ourself we need to do the same as he.

Love thyself first then you can love another the same as you love yourself as God loves.

Love is divine and a blessing which is bestowed upon from him.


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